Well, just over 5 months ago I took a "Leap of Faith" and made the career change to be a
"Stay-at-Home-Mom."
What an incredibly life-changing 5 months it's been.
Physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, financially.
And without a doubt, Jake and I made the best decision for our family.
For me, staying home was a huge adjustment personally and professionally.
I was scared to leave the work force and to leave what the majority of households in America call a "normal" life:
Parents working full-time outside of the home and the kids in daycare.
I was used to the crazy weekly work schedule, running/driving around with my head cut off getting the kids to where they needed to be. I enjoyed working and earning a pay check (no matter how big or small - it was my way of contributing to the family - so I thought), I enjoyed being mentally challenged at work and I enjoyed my adult time.
I think at first the one thing I missed the most was driving in my vehicle by myself - even if it was just for 10-minute segments on my way to and from work so I could listen to whatever radio station I wanted.
Now, I'm rarely in my car by myself, and if I am alone - I feel lost!
I'm not going to lie, I was scared to be home all alone with my kids at first.
Every mother loves their kids, but what do I do with them every day, all day?
I was used to spending at most 3 hours of awake time a day with my children.
Now I was going to be with them 24-7.
A great thing...yes, but what do we do?
My first week on leave from work I made a 4-page list of things that "I wanted to get done while I was on leave." I've always been a goal-setter and I love to check things off my "to-do" list.
It gives me a sense of accomplishment.
I quickly learned after 2 weeks on leave that those things/goals were not going to happen and it wasn't about "me" at all or what "I wanted to get accomplished," it was about "our kids."
Once I realized and accepted that, I set more reasonable goals and I became a much better person, wife and mother (and less frustrated!).
Early into my leave a good friend of mine and I were visiting.
She asked me how the adjustment was going at home and I just mentioned that I didn't realize how much I'd be giving up by staying home.
I told her at times I'd had "buyer's remorse."
She very quickly made me realize what I'd gained in return by staying home;
"Time with my kids at their young ages is priceless."
And she was right - I have the rest of my life to work and make money, but I'll never get this time back with my children while they are young.
I'm so thankful she said that when she did - her words completely readjusted my attitude for the better!
*****
Every day I pray for PATIENCE, and let me tell you, God does provide it!
I've had to leave a room many times to go take deep breaths (almost like labor breathing) so that I don't totally freak out on the big kids.
And there's nothing wrong with that, it's the mental reality of an adult spending time with pre-school kids.
I have a whole new perspective on LIFE after being home these 5 months.
You'd think by spending all your time with your kids that you'd "need a break" or want to get the heck out of your house (especially with the crazy cold winter we've had)!
Surprisingly it's the opposite for me. I don't want a "break" and I have WAY MORE patience with my children than I ever did before working full-time.
Watching Roslyn grow up in the last 5 months since she started Pre-School has been incredible.
She is light years ahead of where Andray was at this time last year.
The second child definitely has an advantage and Roz is good at thanking Andray for helping her every day with her writing, reading and math.
The biggest joy for me has been watching these two lil' ladies bond.
Roslyn is so good with Carrine and I truly haven't witnessed an ounce of jealousy or resentment.
I pray that continues the rest of their lives.
To say I'm thankful to have spent every day for the last 5 months with CC is an understatement.
I do regret missing out on all the baby time with Andray and Roslyn when I worked 6-7 days a week in Athletics at SCSU, nights and weekends. I can't change the past, but I can make our present and future days better. I'm making up for lost time now with our big kids in their pre-school years.
I'm beyond gracious that I don't have to miss out on the "little things" with Carrine in the infant stage.
Watching Roz take "ownership" in being Carrine's BIG SISTER has been awesome.
Roz loves to help CC and take care of her and you can tell by the Pride in her smile.
Being home with Roslyn has allowed her to take on more responsibility too.
She's helped me with snow removal, baking, cleaning the house, doing laundry...and her favorite...
DOING THE DISHES IN THE KITCHEN SINK!
(yes, our kitchen floor looks like a man-made lake by the end of doing dishes...but it doesn't matter to me in the least!)
I've learned how to have FUN with the girls and to stop whatever it is I'm doing if Roz calls and wants me to come look at the picture she just drew or a new dance that she just learned.
(Yes, it's tough to take a break when all you want to do is get the laundry folded or put away, dishes washed or dishwasher emptied, bathrooms cleaned, etc.)
But it's important to take the time and enjoy those little things with the kids because too quickly they'll be in their teens and not want me around!
Roslyn loves to help me in the kitchen every day.
One big dietary adjustment we've made this year is eating out a lot less.
(we splurged and got the $7 Valentine's heart-shaped pizza at Papa Muphy's last week)
The kids miss their random McDonald's trips or eating at their favorite restaurants (BWW or Blue Line) - but they have learned in the last 5 months that we're making "sacrifices" this year. Amazing at such young ages they do know what that means.
Can't begin to say how great it's been being at home when Andray gets off the school bus.
He's so excited to tell me about his school day and I enjoy my "quiet time" with him at 3 pm while we go through his home work and have a snack.
He's really come out of his shell and he LOVES SCHOOL.
I'm thankful I get to witness these special moments when Roz is teaching Carrine something.
And I'm glad I get to see them hug all the time.
I know it was tough on Roslyn last fall to be pulled from her friends at daycare.
She loves them all, especially Callie.
But there's no question who Roslyn's best friend is now...her baby sister.
And that's the way it should be.
As we start to prepare for Carrine's 1st (Golden) bday coming up next weekend - I truly can't believe all of the positive things that have happened in the past year since we added Carrine to our family.
God has a way of making things work out and He tugs at our hearts for a reason.
If it weren't for Carrine, I'd never have made the decision to be a stay-at-home Mom.
Never in a million years would I have guessed I'd be home with my kids instead of working outside the home.
And 99% of the time I absolutely LOVE IT!
I'm so glad I've had to opportunity to be both a full-time working Mom and a stay-at-home Mom.
Both situations the mom works extremely hard.
But being home has made me truly appreciate my mom being home with me and my brothers when we were growing up 30+ years ago.
I sought out advice from nearly every stay-at-home mom I knew last summer. I appreciate all the advice my own mom gave us, Jake's mom, my sister-in-law Megan, close friends and co-workers while I struggled last summer to take the Leap of Faith and have the courage to make a professional change.
Our neighbors across the street said it would take one month for us to adjust our check book when we went down to one income...and he was exactly right.
We've cut out nearly all "extra" expenses and we've found that we really don't need those extra things to get us through our days and weeks.
Although it's humbling...Jake and I said last week to each other that we've never had so little in our savings account, but we've never been happier.
I've learned a ton about myself, our marriage and our children in the past 5 months and I am a better person, wife and mom because of it.
Being home has been amazing - this opportunity has stemmed from a lot of support by my husband, family, friends, co-workers and supervisors at SCSU.
Absolutely no regrets.
