Another Tug at a Mother's Heart...

Ah, the whirl wind of last year is approaching again.

Just over a year ago we added Carrine to our family, registered Andray for Kindergarten and made the big decision to send him to St. Mary's. Add to that we also registered Roslyn for Pre-School.

Now this morning I registered my first baby girl for Kindergarten!

(I was holding it together until a worker came over to ask me how things were going...then reality set in and my eyes filled with tears. School changes everything. The innocent stages of infant, toddler and pre-K years are almost over with Roz. I've been through this already with Andray. Shouldn't it get easier the more times  you send a child to school?)

And to top it off in just over a month our baby girl CC will be a YEAR OLD!

How is this possible?

All positive things going on in our family right now, but sometimes it's just too much for a mother's heart to stomach!

Roslyn continues to blossom before my very own eyes every day.

She is beyond excited to be in Kindergarten next fall...which means her big brother will be in 1st grade!

(she has the next 20 school years planned out for both of them, including college;)

My biggest hope for Roslyn in school is that she won't lose an ounce of her "excitement" for life and that her confidence only continues to rise.

My first baby girl grew up way too fast!

If only I could freeze time...

Interesting Advice About Marriage...

10 Marriage Tips Every WIFE Needs to Hear

Karen / October 28, 2013

There’s a blog post that’s recently gone viral, written by a divorced man featuring some really sound advice about marriage (click here to read it).  I really have to applaud this guy.  It takes guts to stand up and be transparent about your failures.  It’s equally as commendable to stand up and say how you’d do things differently.

One thing that his post is lacking, however, is the female perspective.  After reading his post, I wanted to take some time and write down some things that I’ve learned in the last ten years.  You see – I’m now in my third marriage.  When people learn this fact about me, their reaction is usually pretty awkward.  It’s almost as if they’re waiting for me to be embarrassed by my admission. While going through two divorces was some of the most painful times of my life, I’d only feel ashamed if I’d gone through it without being able to say I’ve learned a thing or two.  My husband and I had both been through divorce before we married each other, and with that brings a unique perspective into many do’s and don’ts of how to treat your spouse. Don’t get me wrong – our marriage isn’t perfect, but our failures in past relationships have shaped decisions we make about the way we treat each other, and to be honest, I’m glad I went through it.  We’ve learned better, so now we do better.

And with that, I’d like to offer up my version of his wise marriage tips – from a woman who has triumphed the murky waters of divorce (and if you’re interested, my husband also wrote one from his perspective).

1. Respect your husband.  - Notice how it doesn’t say “Respect your husband if he has earned it”. A man’s greatest need in this world is to be respected, and the person he desires that respect from the most is his wife.  The trap that we’ve all been ensnared by is that they only deserve our respect when they earn it. Yes, we want our husbands to make decisions that will ultimately garner our respect, but the truth is that your husband is a human being. A human being who makes mistakes. This is the man that YOU have chosen to walk alongside you for the rest of your life, and to lead your family and he needs to be respected for that quality alone. Take it from me – when respect is given even when he doesn’t deserve it, it will motivate him to earn it. That doesn’t mean you pretend that his choices are good ones when they aren’t. Things like that still need to be communicated, but you can flesh out your differences WITH RESPECT. It makes all the difference in the world to him.
2. Guard your heart.  - The grass is not greener on the other side. Do not believe the lie that with a slimmer figure, a higher salary, a faster car, or a bigger house, you will be a happier woman. The world is full of things and people that will serve as reminders that you don’t have the best of the best, but it’s simply not true. Live the life you’ve been blessed with, and BE THANKFUL. I get that we all have struggles, and there are even times when I would love 1,000 more square feet of house to live in, but square feet is not fulfilling – relationships are. Guard your heart from things and people that will try to convince you that your life or your husband is not good enough.  There will always be bigger, faster, stronger, or shinier – but you’ll never be satisfied with more until you’re fulfilled with what you have now.
3. God, husband, kids…in that order.  - I know this isn’t a popular philosophy, especially among mothers, but hear me out. It’s no secret that my faith is of utmost importance, so God comes first in my life no matter what. But regardless of your belief system, your husband should come before your kids. Now unless you’re married to someone who is abusive  (in which case, I urge you to seek help beyond what my blog can give you), no man in his right mind would ask you to put your kids aside to serve his every need while neglecting them. That’s not what this means. When you board an airplane, the flight attendants are required to go over emergency preparedness prior to takeoff. When explaining the part about how to operate the oxygen mask, passengers are instructed to first put the mask on themselves before putting it on their small child. Is that because they think you are more important than your kids? Absolutely not. But you cannot effectively help your child if you can’t breathe yourself. The same holds true with marriage and parenting. You cannot effectively parent your children if your marriage is falling apart. Take it from me – I tried. There will also come a time when your kids will leave the house to pursue their dreams as adults. If you have not cultivated a lasting relationship with your spouse, you will have both empty nests and empty hearts.
4. Forgive.  - No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. If you make forgiveness a habit – for everything from major mistakes to little annoyances (every day, I have to forgive my husband for leaving the wet towel on the bathroom counter ;)) – you will keep resentment from growing.
5. Over-communicate.  - I used to have a bad habit of not speaking my feelings. I played the standard “You should know why I’m mad” game, and that’s just downright unfair. Men are not wired like women, and they DON’T always know that they’ve been insensitive. I’m still growing in this area, and there are often times when my husband has to pry something out of me, but I’m trying to remember that I need to just communicate how I feel.
6. Schedule a regular date night.  - This one isn’t new, but it’s very important. Never stop dating your spouse.  Even if you can’t afford dinner and a movie (which we seldom can), spending some regular one-on-one time with your spouse is essential. Don’t talk about bills, or schedules, or the kids. Frankie and I often daydream about our future, or plan our dream vacation. We connect emotionally and often learn something new about each other – even after four years.
7. Never say the “D Word”.  - If you’re gonna say it, you better mean it. Plain and simple, threatening divorce is not fighting fair. I did this a lot in my previous marriages. I’m not proud of it, but I learned better. I was hurting deeply, and I wanted to hurt back, but it never helped me feel better.
8. Learn his love language.  - Everyone has a love language. The way you perceive love is often different from the way your spouse perceives love. Does he like words of affirmation, or does he respond better when you give him gifts? Whatever his love language is – learn it and USE IT.  Edited to add: If you are unfamiliar with the principles behind love languages, you can learn more about it here.
9. Never talk negatively about him.  - I learned this lesson the hard way too. If you’re going through a difficult time in your marriage and you need advice, see a counselor. Family counseling is a great tool, but try to remember that your family members and friends are not the most objective people to give advice. The argument they are hearing is one-sided and they often build up negative feelings toward your spouse, which usually doesn’t subside once you and your husband have gotten past it. Protect his image with those that you’re close with and seek help from those that can actually be objective.  News flash, ladies – your mother cannot be objective!
10. Choose to love.  - There are times in a marriage that you may wake up and not feel in love anymore. Choose to love anyway. There are times when you may not be attracted to your husband anymore. Choose to love anyway. Marriage is a commitment. In sickness and health, in good times and in bad. Those vows are sacred. They don’t say “if you have bad times”. They say “in good times AND in bad”, implying that there WILL be bad times. It’s inevitable. So choose to love anyway. He’s worth it.

Snow Days...Snow Much Fun...For Da Kids!

Found out Sunday night that school was already cancelled for Monday...

so we fired up the Nacho Cheese Machine and celebrated...

Played in the living room a little bit longer...

and enjoyed a friendly game of Sorry as a family.

If you can't tell...Roz absolutely LOVES Nacho cheese.

Monday morning we did some school work...

And had some fun with it...

Then we made the biggest Fort our house has ever seen...

Of course the big kids wanted to nap in the Fort...Roz couldn't keep quiet so ended up napping in her own room.

But Andray rested and loved it!

I on the other hand ended up with the flu again yesterday.

It's no fun taking care of sick kids...but I don't know if there's anything worse than taking care of kiddos when you're sick yourself. Glad Jake was home yesterday to help out!

Hope this bug our family has had for over a week now is gone sooner than later!

Let's Go DUKE...

The Duke Blue Devils got a great win over Florida State today in Cameron Indoor Stadium and our kids were all decked out in their Duke apparel cheering them on!

Instead of trying out for Dance Team in high school...Roz might be trying out for the Globetrotters!

Could not believe it today when I pulled out Roslyn's 1st Duke cheer leading outfit and it fit Carrine perfectly!

She is getting way too big, way too fast.

Yes, even at the young age of 10 months...CC officially knows how to "photo bomb" a picture!

Sorry Barbie Cinderella ;)

(if you couldn't have guessed...Roz got a hold of my phone and took the picture!)

I'm very thankful I got to spend the afternoon and night with dear friends from home Jen and Jolene.

Our crew of 7 combined kids enjoyed a girls bball game in Becker and then dinner at BWW!

Although CC looks like a "deer in the head lights" in this shot, she loved every minute of being there.

(Definitely Jake's child;)

With the blizzard warnings in effect, safe travels to all this weekend!

STAY WARM!

On the Upswing...

After 3 full days of the flu in our household, we all seem to be on the upswing.

This morning Roz took a break from shoveling at the neighbor's and decided to hang out in their tree! 

I used to love climbing trees with my brothers down in the valley.

Roz was pretty jacked to go back to school yesterday!

CC isn't quite over the hump yet, but she's still her happy self!

Happy Friday everyone - have a great weekend.

Enjoying the "Little Things" in Life...

Family Blues...

Well...all 5 of us are home with the flu. At least Dray is "sick in STYLE!" Definately a movie day.

Hope this bug we all caught is gone soon. Happy MLK Day...

Happy Birthday Mom!

Happy 65th Birthday to my incredible Mother!

You are the most unselfish, thoughtful and faithful person I know.

Thank you for being YOU...the best mother and grandmother a child could have!

Wish I could be with you today!

Someone Is Feeling Better

This lil' lady thinks she is hot stuff stealing her Big Sister's new toy. Glad CC is feeling better!

Bathin' Beauty Not Feeling So Hot...

Well, we continue to count our lucky stars with Carrine.

The dreaded day when your baby gets sick for the first time arrived yesterday.

Pretty awesome we made it 10 months before she got her first fever!

Never fun when your kids are sick...

but I didn't mind the extra snuggle time with "Miss Michelin Man" yesterday ;)

(Uncle Aaron's new nickname for CC)

Carrine seems to be on the upswing already.

Hoping she just has more teeth coming through.

Just can't believe this lil' lady is going to be a year old already in about 6 weeks.

Time is just flyin'!

God Leads Us...

God has led me down paths I never dreamt possible and I am thankful...

Frank Christmas - Part II

Well...Mom and Dad finally got to celebrate their 2013 Christmas with their 5 grandchildren.

Although the time is never long enough when we're together, it probably was the best Christmas we've had together as a family since my brother Adam left our family 7 years ago.

As sad as the situation is, life does go on. And the grandchildren are definitely what keep my parents going!

Thanks to "Santa" for the matching "Santa Loves Me" pj's for the girls (complete with red tutu's) and for Andray's new "Bruce the Moose #11" jammers!

Time for the "goofy" pose!

First night at home...priceless.

Papa Larry sleeping with Baby Carrine on his chest in front of the Christmas tree.

Doesn't get any better than this.

Love Carrine's newest "scrunched up" face.

Santa brought the 4 older grandkids new shovels! Very practical!

The big kids surrounded CC with all the musical toys in Gma Carol's house :)

Carrine had an audience while the other cousins went outside to sled!

Carrine's first Christmas with Papa Larry and Gma Carol. 

Isa and Amelia gave our kids a "Cookies for Santa" plate - awesome!

Andray loves his new toy from the Planes movie, a Mater ornament and new Bath Robe!

Nothing makes Miss Amelia happier than new tights and fancy skirts!

Photos like these are priceless - Roslyn opening her ballerina ornament.

Thank you Aaron and Megan for Carrine's new special plate!

Roslyn hugging her Godfather Aaron - she LOVES her new Fairy Magnet Doll!

LINGL CHRISTMAS - 2013

Four generations of Lingls - beyond thankful that my kids have a relationship with their Great Gram "Chip."

Carrine - one happy lil' Elf :)

Carrine sat on Gram's lap the entire 2 hours of opening gifts.

Back at home - Papa Larry trying to get CC to touch the Christmas tree.

She was one happy baby.

Our family of five. Tell Jake every day how thankful I am for our kids and our health.

We had an incredible Christmas Holiday as a family.

Got to see many family and friends.

If only I could freeze time...

Thanks to my parents for all they do for the entire family.

Anyone lucky enough to know my parents should consider themselves blessed.

Here's to never giving up HOPE and for being grateful for God's GRACE.